Jude : *visibly late* sorry I’m late i was…doing things..
Cardan : *enters the room with very messy hair and clothes and visibly out of breath*
Vic : ladies and gentlemen *points towards cardan* the things.
*Cardan getting kidnapped*
Cardan being choked for information: the only one who can choke me is my wife
Kidnapper: …what?
Other YA characters taking down their enemies: massive scale magical fight scenes, complex good vs evil moral conversations, love triangles, tragedy
vs crooked kingdom
kaz brekker: so, what do you fuckers know about the stock market?
Sir that’s my emotional support traumatized gang boss
matthias: do you have any self care routine?
kaz: “keep going, bitch” said in different accents
Matthias be like: I just got out of jail and I’m sure of exactly two things
1. that Brekker guy is definitely a demon
and
2. he is totally in love with the stabby gymnast
nothing screams married behaviour like inej just straight up disappearing into thin air while she and kaz are talking to per haskell and kaz not missing a beat and immediately going along with it like he was the one who came up with that in the first place. they didn’t even exchange a glance to agree on the plan. they just KNEW what the other one would do. like tell me you’re married without telling me you’re married.
Jude and Cardan by giannyfili
Everyone single person in Elfhame:
Cardan Greenbriar:
The sluttiest thing a man can do is be Cardan Greenbriar
oops i fell for the dark-haired immortal not exactly human boi with a tragic backstory once again
I love how jude could have been one of the “I could fix him” girlies but was mentally ill enough to be a “I’ll be even worse than him” girlie.
We really gave Cardan redemption because it was his drinking versus jude going on killing sprees and hiding bodies???
the ending of the wicked king was like looking both ways before crossing the street and getting hit by a helicopter.